Warming up

So i've spent a couple of weeks now in this new town. Alien landscape. The mountains are too near. And clear. The sunlight bright. The rains forgotten. And the air breathable. There's a nippy attitude to the air that makes one feel alive. The same one that kills your skin. I actually understood that queer eye guy who does the facial moisturizer bit. Eoww, but...better than cracked sore skin. That's the actual irony of this whole experience so far. Its all a mix good and bad, but not in the food processor kind of way that something good always comes out of it. Rather, its the type that makes one have to choose between strongly developed good habits, and appreciating the new found strong sense of NEED; where you choose wrong and you die.

After all, i really like the nippy air and the innate sense of order in the lives of these US people, among other things here (blonde hair and pale skin is overrated by the way), but as one steps off the airport one can immediately discern that much of the filipino lifestyle is quite charmiing. That child's play mode we approach our life and crimes seem quite inviting now, though it hardly jibes with our notion of the american dream. Maybe its because i'm a visitor here. And i cant do as i please. Because i dont know the rules. And i cant break them.

I like the fact that in the Pinas we dont take life too seriously for the most part and that we can mock anything that comes our way. Here, everything has to be registered, certified, the rules seem unflinching, with no margin for human variety. It actually scares me. Plus the penalties are in dollars and thats way more than i can afford.

But there's a piece of the phil i went to just a few weeks back. Theres a jollibee there and a filipino store. Quite a ways from the American highway is a corner of glendale where the grocery is more eunilaine than ralph's. Dust and all. Of course, they have sinfully sized produce and only approximates the Philippine taste. But it is comforting in its crazed messiness and lively hustle and bustle. With sacks of what-not randomly set everywhere, it seems. It really cant compare to the cavernously neat and orderly supermarkets everywhere else here that lacks in crowds and lines and dirt. But its lack of people, to be honest, we could describe as nilalangaw.

Its good here. But its not that warm.